Girlicious

Probably your doctors, lassies.

Pictured above are the "winners" of Pussycat Dolls Present: Girlicious. A group named Girlicious.

I can't wait to see these lovely ladies at the Hawaiian Tropic World nearest you.

David Archuleta

There's always Christian rock, my little pre-pubescent waste.

Poor little D.A. (not my fav. kind) lost American Idol this week. He should probably blame his flesh-peddling stage-dad father for it. Or the new gay friendly Cuban government. Read a newspaper, dummies. They love gay now...dance like there's no tomorrow.

Emma Watson

Poor Hermione.
English actress Emma Watson, who turned 18-year-old on Tuesday, April 15, celebrated adulthood at Automat restaurant in Mayfair, London, England, on Friday, April 18, with a sit down dinner for 70 close friends and family that did not include any leading celebrity. She left at 3:45 am with a flash of her panties, as her silk LBD rode up while she sat in her car. Emma, who plays Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter film series, now exercises control over the $20 million that she has amassed acting in the series.

Atta boy! I'd blame global warming AND/OR Al Gore.

Katie Holmes-Cruise

It'll be ok, doll-face. He'll be back at Splash again soon.

The Top Gun star has offered to buy Katie a membership at Los Angeles' prestigious Bel-Air Country Club so they can all play with her father Martin Holmes. A source told America's Star magazine: "Katie's father is not crazy about Tom but Mr. Holmes golfs a lot. Adding Katie to his membership is costing Tom $150,000 a year."

Scientology WOW!

Amy Winehouse

Troubled singer Amy Winehouse has been released on bail after she was arrested and questioned over alleged drug offenses.

The 24-year-old star was quizzed by police in East London over drug offenses after footage of the star allegedly smoking crack cocaine was handed to British police.

It's Winehouse's second legal woe in as many weeks -- the singer was accused of headbutting a man outside a North London pub on April 23 and later turned herself in to authorities. She escaped with a caution.

Winehouse, who has faced a long and public battle against drugs and alcohol, checked into a rehab clinic in London in January after a video showing her allegedly taking a variety of illegal substances was passed on to British newspaper The Sun.

She was also arrested, along with her husband Blake Fielder-Civil, in Bergen, Norway, last year on suspicion of possessing cannabis.

Winehouse was issued with a $714 fine, which she accepted, not realizing that paying up is the same as pleading guilty in the Scandinavian country.

John McCain

My favorite coot, Senator Jon McCain walks with a slightly younger coot, Lindsey Graham of South Carolina on Friday. If you look carefully, you can catch a glimpse of Cindy McCain passed out in the bushes after a little too many "borrowed" Rx bottles. I miss Europe.

Mariah Carey

Dummy got married to a (near) minor. Without a pre-nup. Someone needs to get Britney's people away from Mariah before she does something else stupid. At least Nick Cannon doesn't have to do with awful WILDIN' OUT show on MTV with D-List comics anymore. Fernando & Greg anyone? Bank that money.

Love um.

Preview: Mariah Carey

So glad she's back to doing crazy shit.

Carly Simon

Her voice is huskier, veined with the fine lines of age, but that only enhances the sultry sound of the Vineyard's favorite songbird, the still-too-sexy-for-her-shirt Carly Simon. The original songs on "This Kind of Love" are a mishmash of styles: poppy, jazzy, or seasoned with a dash of Brazilian Tropicana. Thirty-six years after her breakthrough "No Secrets," Simon is still exploring the vicissitudes of togetherness.

Talk about relevant! Thanks, American Idol.

Preview: Carly Simon?

I dunno.